so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
You know you're old when tea and a hot bath are more appealing than beer pong with lesbians.
He equated my biology degree to a belief in Santa. I wonder if he heard the doors to my vagina clanging shut.
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
this is a preemptive text before you call me freaking out: i have your keys and your car is parked safely a block down from your apartment.
you are a goddess
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
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