Well the candle wax mightve been sexy if he didn't drop the candle and light half my bed on fire
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
Randomize
