he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
got hammered last night, woke up this morning to 38 texts that varied from "you fucking asshole" to "i can be there in 10 minutes"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
I'm texting you from across the beer pong table to tell you that the drunk chick you brought over needs to disappear. like now.
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WHY WOULD YOU SWIPE RIGHT???!!!!!
The same reason I ordered and ate almost an entire pizza last night
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
Randomize