Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
Randomize