I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
Also, new rule: You are no longer allowed to send me a text with the word "dildo" in it before 10am.
Where are you, who is in my bed, why is he wearing a spandex onesie as underwear, how did i get teethmarks on my forehead, what are we doing tonight?
What a dumb baby whore.
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
I think I just sharted jello shots
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
Randomize
