When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
Then this bride walked into the bar, she thought it would be a good idea to hug her & then she started playing parachute with her train.
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it bad that I feel proud to be the first one to puke in the apartment? And I did it in style?
You straight up painted the counter with steak, tequila and beer. You owe me a knew toothbrush.
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
I woke up this morning to find my closet lacking 98% of my clothes and a text from my male roommate saying your dresses squeeze my genitals
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