Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
His phone pocket dialed me while he was crapping. He was quietly singing stayin alive and possibly passing his intestines.
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
Randomize
