Hey, could you leave the door unlocked? Keys seem hard right now.
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
When's the best time to point out that all of my orgasms this year have been self-administered? Valentine's day?
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
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