The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
Upon further investigation it turns out it wasn't blood, but chocolate frosting from the cupcake I shoved in my pocket to "save for later"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
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