I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
I've been randomly kik messaging bearded men I find on Instagram while sitting unshowered in my underpants. I'm like the girl version of a creepy uncle.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
Randomize