we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off.
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
I literally just smashed open my grade school piggy bank for beer money. Goodbye childhood. Hellllllo coin night.
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
I just walked across town, stoned off my ass and barefoot in 35 degree weather for him to bust five mins in and then apologize 13 times as I got dressed.
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
Randomize
