Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
Fuck Sunday funday. Fuck real pants. Fuck the sun. Fuck Jameson. Fuck my life. Yes, I am hungover as shit sitting in my office eating bacon.
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
Any idea why the fuck i would replace all the music on my ipod with the fucking Goosebumps theme song?!?
Apparently drunk you is really nostalgic?
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
Just found a pair of vomit-soaked socks in my purse, three days after the party... Now I know why my wallet was wet.
I love you.
Bad choice
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