youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
I just farted so loud that my cat got so scared he fell off the couch.
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning.
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
tell me about the fingering
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
