Just threw up at the table during our Father's Day dinner. And I managed to get quite a bit on dad, so that was nice.
Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
If the fate of the world hinged on some chubby girl getting laid, the president would dispatch me with a fifth of Jameson immediately and then rest easy.
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
We fucked, she finished, high fived me, the pulled a celebratory pack of gushers out of her purse for each of us. I'm going to marry your sister dude.
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Randomize
