Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
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Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
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Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
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