AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
I just saw a 3 year old try to break out of a daycare by driving a big wheel at full speed into a metal gate. Today is going to be epic.
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
All the alcohol I spilled on myself must have acted as a disinfectant or something. I haven't showered in three days and I still don't have a staph infection from sleeping on the lawn with you.
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
Can I color on your dick again?
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
Last night you broke a mirror, and then rolled around in the glass shards. Miraculously, there's not a scratch on you...
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
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