I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
I had to download the flashlight app so I could finish taking a dump when the power went out.
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
"can you come pick me up from the ikea parking garage i think i slept here"
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
Randomize
