went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
my boss made my mugshot into an 'employee of the month' poster.
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
Randomize
