you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
Hey when I die alone will you come by often enough so that my cats don’t eat my face?
and I'm going to name my autobiography "blow jobs with enthusiasm are the best"
I'm naming my autobiography "Reasons Not to Date Girls From Texas."
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
So this is completely apropos of nothing, but I have a feeling that a friend of mine might be a good match for you. Can I set you two up on a date? Oh, and it seems that we live a block away from each other and aren't having sexy times. This is ridiculous. By the way, there's a chance that I might be a tad drunk. Still though, there's a very *good* chance that you and Mr. X would get along.
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
Randomize
