quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
Now I have to set an alarm for less than 6 hours from now to wake her up, get her showered and get her to her first day of tutoring a kid from her church. WTF is my life?
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
MAGGIE IS ON MY COUCH PETTING AN HONEST TO CHRIST ARMADILLO AND SOBBING INTO HOT CHOCHOLATE. WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO TO HER.
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
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