he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
So my grandma sent me a valentines day present of waterproof mascara, tissues, and chocolate. Way to reinforce that I'll be single and depressed on valentines day. Thanks grandma.
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
I don't know. I just have an affinity for nudity when I'm drunk.
How the hell am I supposed to tell that to a group of eight year olds?! It was three in the afternoon for fucks sake!
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
Randomize