I can't believe you let me try to pierce your nipple with a dart last night
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
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