He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
Randomize
