If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
I queefed so loud it echoed.
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
almost dropped my phone in the toilet but it somehow bounced off my tit and landed on the floor. Boobs: saving me hundreds of dollars in bar tabs and smartphones since '09
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
I party with great urgency now.
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
Randomize
