I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
My boss is explaining why he thinks time goes by faster and faster. Bc of the rockets. No lie.
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
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