I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
Randomize