I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
Turned out the thing on the lampshade was a bloodstain, not a bedbug. We feel much safer now.
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
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