...i apologize for hitting you up so much tonight im just kinda in a little pickle. im going to sleep in my car near u so pretty plz lmk if you head home...
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
Meanwhile she's getting her law degree and I'm dropping Cool Ranch Doritos down my bra because I'm laying down eating on the couch
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
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