the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
FYI you are now my emergency contact at plan parenthood
You know we have no secrets, right? I mean, you saw me shitting in a gift bag drunk and naked on Christmas eve.
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
Dude, tumbleweeds have been rolling through my bed lately. This is my dryest dry spell since I was married.
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
I see more hoeing in ur future
Randomize
