im drinking this country out of the recession.
called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
When you went through airport security you asked if the could check if a baby was in there. That drunk.
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
I told him I liked how shrimp feels in my mouth, but I don't actually like eating it. Turned out to be the most awkward way to say that I wanted to suck his dick.
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
Come back. Shots need mouths.
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
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