trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
The difference in our lives is summed up perfectly in that you woke up next to a 6'4" guy with an accent and I woke up next to an unwrapped piece of string cheese.
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
if i had an alexa it would be saying “have sex with guys that don’t care about you”
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
Randomize