I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
DAMN! I hate it when i drunkenly erase all my "sent message" and wake up in the morning and my inbox is full of "WTF?" and "Huh?" messages.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Everyone is all excited about the iPhone 7 being water resistant and I'm only concerned with whether or not it can be destroyed by salsa or cum
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
He said his parents were apparently coming over to surprise him with breakfast and I’ve never gotten dressed and run out of the door that quickly. I have commitment issues.
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
Randomize