11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
Randomize