so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
probably shouldnt have written that paper while wasted, its starts with once upon a time
i tried to stop you but you kept shouting "two birds with one stone!"
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
Yeah, surprised you made it on time this morning. Remarkable, considering 2 hours ago you were pretending to be talking window curtains.
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
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