And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
He asked if I wanted to blow his flute? Please call me and pretend there is a family emergency!!!
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
spending my first valentines day single in 3 years blazed and eating heart shaped brownies i bought myself. WHO NEEDS A MAN.
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
Pro tip: When you spend the afternoon banging your boss, don’t meet your mother-in-law for dinner if you still smell like cum and watermelon flavored lube
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