A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
I smell Vodka. It's me. If anyone asks it's totally hand sanitizer.
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
Randomize
