the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
The taxi driver was cool until you left. He then started blasting enya and telling me I look like I need another line.
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
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