Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
Randomize
