Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
I just farted in the dogs face to show him who's boss
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
How does it feel to date your dad?
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
Randomize
