i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
I swear to God, I saw my life flash between my legs.
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
Note to self: don't jizz on a surface cleaned with Tilex. It WILL turn purple.
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
I just got carded by a ten year old.
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
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