I hate your face
i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
Apparently I told the bartender to stop putting ice in my drink because it was taking up too much room
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
His best friend's cat died so we had a drunken burial ceremony on the side of his condo at 2am and I'm pretty sure if anyone gets ahold of the video feed from Martini Monday we're all fired.
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
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