i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
Definitely just said "no homo" to our gay waiter at Cheesecake Factory...our service has steadily declined since.
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
I just don't fit in here. The other wives are ten years older and have kids!
Well, you chose trophy wife of a 35 year old over college. Sit in your suburban soup and stew.
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
It's amazing how hard it it while drunk to not comment "fuck you" on dumb peoples' statuses
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
How drunk was I last night?
You tried to unlock a door with your dick. That drunk.
Not the explanation for the cock bruise that I was looking for.
Randomize
