Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
I forgot to tell you, wear something you can puke on Saturday. We're christening this marriage with a shot of jager. NOT KIDDING.
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
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