I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
Just woke up on a couch in the FIJI house with 2 missed calls from someone I saved in my phone as "Some DU Kid Named TJ Maybe"
you make me proud to be your friend
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
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