Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
GUESS WHAT I JUST LICKED
I feel like half our conversations start this way.
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
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Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
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I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
So I ended the trip with two cold sores, poison ivy on my leg and vagina, and no alcohol or weed. WORST. 4TH. OF. JULY. EVER.
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