she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
Just woke up and read the text that drunk me sent you, i take it all back, and you can't have my power puff girl pillow either.
Like every two minutes he would pull out and whipser "don't you do it, you bastard" while looking at his penis. His new name in my phone is 'penis whisperer'
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