I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was just crying my tits off and he was just sitting there listening. I was an open book of embarrassing life stories.
Wine is not your friend.
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
You tried to tip the Uber driver with a meatball sub. Then, when he refused your meatball sub...you demanded he take you to the corner with the hookers. The valet has your keys and water balloons. I'm glad you're only in Chicago for the weekend.
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
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