so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
so he let me use one of the toothbrushes that came in his daughters 4 pack, purple glittery toddler toothbrush, the next time i came back his wife has used their label maker and put my name on it...
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
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he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
He threw me a bud light and when I opened it he smacked it out of my hand because "Dave giveth, and Dave taketh away". WTF
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
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Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
Meanwhile she's getting her law degree and I'm dropping Cool Ranch Doritos down my bra because I'm laying down eating on the couch
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
I can feel your judgement through the phone
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
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