If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
somehow in between the body shots the bong hits and trying to convince the 7-11 lady to let me fill up my vodka bottle with cherry slurpee. i misplaced my car.
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
Bear grylls would be proud of my improvisation. Just used her vibrator to massage my back after hurting it at work.
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
Two words: nipple clamps
Randomize
