Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
I'm at work, still drunk. Can you turn on the radio? If the station goes off the air I passed out. Can't get fired. Haven't slept yet.
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
Why do all my exes just become Tom Hanks in Castaway?
That's a fantastic question. And an odd set of criteria to meet if wanting to date you.
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
Randomize
