The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
1. No more tequila 2. Why do you let me say slutty things? 3. I woke up and our apartment was covered in cake? 4. Love you
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
I just don't understand how we smoked the EXACT same thing and I feel fine but Tim's over here serenading his fifth bowl of fruit loops with Elton John's entire discography.
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
All three of my roommates have their significant others over. We're all hanging out in the living room. It's like I'm the trifecta of third-wheeling
Do you think the firemen will remember me?
Yes. But you were sloppy, sobbing, and puked on two of them. You won't get in their pants.
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
I have sent texts to the pizza delivery guy telling him he was beautiful. Oh and you almost got a ticket for pissing in public. And I smell like cheese.
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
Randomize
