Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
Sorry I don't make house calls. You wanna get blown you come over here. It's like rock paper scissors but vagina ALWAYS beats penis
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
Do you know who changed all my phone contacts into characters from Harry Potter?
He Who Must Not Be Named.
Fuck you.
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Randomize
