I can't believe you let me try to pierce your nipple with a dart last night
According to my dad, my tongue ring makes people assume I give a lot of blow jobs because, as stated by him "that's what it's for"
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
So here's a brief summary of my weekend: last night I drank four glasses of Death Punch, grabbed the toaster, said "This is mine", put it in my pants and walked out the front door.
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
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