im in an endless cycle of being too hung over to eat all day...then getting too drunk because i didnt eat anything. where is my life going?
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
I appreciate the I'll come bail you out of jail tone in the text
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
Think i may just have managed the saddest high-five in history. Finished a sudoku and high-fived myself, then looked around for somebody to high five. there was noone. forever alone.
Randomize
