Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
Right now I'm laying face down on my carpet in my living room in the darkness sending work emails from my phone.
It's a glamorous life.
They don't really make a "hey I'm fucking your ex wife" card do they ?
Randomize
