what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
Sooo, drunk me had the sense of mind to write down everything that happened last night.....I bet you thought you'd get away with what you did to my parrot.
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
Just woke up bloody and clutching a rear view mirror I'm pretty sure is from my car. For those of you keeping score at home this is why I stopped drinking four loko.
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
I fucking love your mom. She's so drunk and fully functional. I aspire to be her one day.
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
Randomize
