After last night, I could never be a politician.
If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
My mom said she was relieved to see that I'd gained some weight bc she's "always worried" that I might have AIDS.
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
it's like my eyeball is being humped by my eyelid
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
Right now I'm laying face down on my carpet in my living room in the darkness sending work emails from my phone.
It's a glamorous life.
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