On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
I walked into the bathroom and the toilet was on fire... I stood there for like a minute trying to decide whether I should put it out or get my camera.
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
"He's not as cute as he was last week" and "I'm not as drunk as I was last week" are basically the same sentence.
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
Randomize
